Importance of Showering (by Bindhu)

Hello everyone! I'm Bindhu, Khairul's friend and I'm crashing his blog!

Haha.. Well, today I'm going to blog about the Importance of Showering.
This blog is for all those stinky fellas out there!!

Okay.. Before I begin, I want to ask you stinkies 5 simple questions.

1) Do you guys think that you smell like roses after waking up in the morning? Well I got news for you! You don't! You smell like f***king rotten onions!!

2) Do you know that other people are affected by your horrid BO?? Can't you smell youself??

3) Have your friends ever told you, that you stink??
If they didn't, they're not your real friends.
They must really hate you because they let you walk around, smelling like a carcass.
If they did and you didn't do anything about it, let me tell you something...
GO AND SHOWER!!!! PLEASE!!

4) Are you afraid of water?
Don't worry!
You won't melt if water touches you.
Trust me! I know!

5) Have you ever seen anyone crinkling their nose when you walk past them?
Well.. It's because of you dumbass!!
Yes you!! Why wouldn't they?
Come on! You smell worse then a garbage truck!



Okay.. Now let me tell you the Importance of Showering.

1) It's hygiene stupid!! Don't you have common sense?? You must be one dumb filthy creature!

2) Be considerate. Humans need air to live and you with your horrid stink, are polluting the air. And DO NOT i repeat DO NOT ever ever lift your arms up.
Please!
I beg of you!
Some of us really treasure our lives.
We don't want to be suffocated by your BO.

3) If you don't shower, you might get infections. You know... Ahem.. Down there.. Especially if you have a jungle.. Yup. So those sexually active people should make sure that their partners shower.

4) For girls who don't shower especially during "that" time of the month, you'll smell so damn fishy and yucky!
And if you ever come near me, I swear I'll throw up on you!
Please shower!
Keep yourselves clean for godsake!!!

5) Lastly, so that you nuts can feel fresh and clean. And your poor friends wouldn't have to hold their breath whenever they're with you.

So please people.. SHOWER!!! And if you still have BO, use deodorants. They're available in all the stores near you!!

Thank you so much for your attention.


With much love,
Bindhu Asokan

Teacher (by Khadijah Jantan)

Yes! I’m crashing into Khairul’s blog.

Let me introduce myself first before anyone says that I’m a hacker. I’m Khadijah, Khairul’s one and only youngest sister. No, my parents didn’t use Khairul’s initial name to come out with my name. It just happened. Anyway, I’m a student in a tertiary school. I’m friendly yet quite unfriendly at times. I love singing. I’m quite mischievous and lastly I’m nice...

Is it the teacher or is it just me?

For the past 10 years of schooling, I’ve never been labeled as the “trouble kid” but recently, I feel that I am one but only during his class.

Sometimes it just makes me wonder whether a teacher is after all a perfect person. One who knows everything. I do not have doubt about their credibility of teaching but I seriously do have doubt when a teacher talks about being respectful and disrespectful.

These are the words that I have been hearing:
I was once a student
I know what you are actually like by the way you replied me.
A teenager knows nothing.
I eat more salts than you
I’m your teacher

I do agree that everyone in the world was a student once.

But I totally disagree and condemn a teacher who says that he can predict who we actually are by the way we reply to them.

As a human, we should never ever believe in the 1st impression of someone. Why having such a mindset? Aren’t you creating troubles for yourself?

As a business student in some tertiary school, I’ve learned that a manager needs to know their subordinate well so as to get the best out of them. Hence, I beg to all of you out there, be it a teacher, a student, a parents or even a minister, know your people well before saying something that can hurt your people.

In addition, do not talk about being respectful and disrespectful when you yourself are unsure and obviously unclear about the true meaning of the words. You may be a brilliant English teacher but that does not necessarily mean you know the true meaning of it.

A teenager knows nothing
Being a human, we have brain that enables us to think. With that teenager knows everything but it’s just lies in the difference of depth of understanding.

I eat more salts than you.
Eating more salts doesn’t necessarily mean you have already mastered the complication of the world. Each people experience difference situations. No matter how much you keep emphasizing that “I’ve been through that phase before” to that person, it can never ever be the same.

I’m your teacher.
Did I ever wish for a teacher who is like you?
Never ever find fault with students. This makes them condemn you for the rest of their lives. I hate seeing or even experiencing a situation where I get scolded for something which the teacher has no interest in investigating. As an adult, that does not give you the power to scold people. Let me ask you a question, who likes getting scolded?

But I seriously have to applause those teachers who are forever patient with their students. After going through live with such a patient teacher, I realized that my score is so much better as compared to those unfriendly teachers.

Strict teachers
I love and at the same time hate this type of teachers. They can be very strict until you feel like excusing yourself to the toilet but at the same time, these teachers always help you to produce very good results.

December is 'Crash My Blog' Month.

Surprised to see me here? Well, as i have mentioned in my earlier post, i would not be posting any more till next year. But i've decided to do sumthing.

I would like to invite anybody who would be interested to write at my blog. You can write about anything, about wat u feel, as long as it doesn't involve religion, race or politics. And oh yes. Try to keep the profanity at a minimum. Later all the 'F' word fly everywhere. Haha!

So if there's anyone interested, do drop me a line ya!

One Leg Kicking

Soccer. There are however some who dun understand why the world's most popular sport involves 22 men on a field chasing one ball when each man already has their own balls. Got 2 some more! Haha!

Aniwae, for this post i'm gonna write about a futsal tournament which was held recently by my company last Saturday. And this is the Official Blog for the tournament! Why? Becoz nobody else write about it except me. Hahahaha!!! Futsal is miniaturized version of soccer. Only this time 10 men are chasing one ball!

Well, the tournament started at 8am. Players and supporters arrived for registration, collecting of door gifts as well as dropping their names for the lucky draw. Can win DVD player yer noe!

There are 5 teams competing in the tournament for this year. They are F7, IPO United, Team Japan (Japanese company lah), Oxymoros (my team. dun ask me wat it means. i oso dunno), and Ex-men which comprises of ex-staffs. The game was fine except for the scorching heat. Buey tahan leh! So hot! Make me even hotter! Haha!
















Here's where the 'control center' is. All administrative work is done here. The chairs were there for people to sit but ended up for T-shirts instead! Talk about wasting of resources.. Haha!















Some of the spectators who came down to support the teams together with their families. Luckily one of the door gifts was a hat so quite appropriate for the weather.















The match started off with a special opening match between the ladies and the heads of the different divisions of the company. Ended with a draw. (i think. Wasn't paying attention to the game as i was busy lookin at the ladies. Haha!)




















Medals for the winning teams and trophies for the top scorer and 'Man Of The Match'. Gold plated ah! Dun play play hor! Haha!




















This is the trophy for 'Man of The Match' which was awarded to Sebastian (Makansutra host look alike). If it was the 'Most Handsome Man of the Match', sure i get one. Hahaha!!




















I was in-charged of updating the scoreboard. Most of the matches ended with a goalless draw. Was feelin kinda bored so decided to play Tic Tac Toe. Hehe...















Some of the ex-staffs which formed the Ex-Men team. Great to see them back again. Just like ol' times...




















The final standings. The teams that got into the finals were Team Japan and Oxymoros.

The final ended with a draw so it had to be decided by a penalty kick even after the extra time has been played. Oxymoros won 3-2 by penalty.















Committee members preparing for the lucky draw as well as for the prize presentation.















Team Japan receiving their medals for being runner up. Congrats guys!















Even kids receive medals too! U see, soccer is a game for all ages.















Team Japan posing for the camera for the team photo.















The champion Oxymoros with their team photo. Great work guys!















The top scorer goes to Nicholas from Oxymoros. Total goals = 2. Angela (sorry guys u could onli see her back) was the official photographer for that day. She very 'chio' yer noe! Wasted ah those who never come. Haha!




















The medal which i've won. Nice? Can place alongside with my other World Cup/UEFA Cup/Spanish Liga/Malaysian Cup and S.League medals. Haha!



P.S This will be my last post for the year. Hey! Even writers and novelists need a break u noe! Haha! Hope that you have enjoyed readin this blog by a crazy person. Take care and will return back in 2007. Ciao!

Ooohhhh...James.....

I managed to catch the latest James Bond movie, Casino Royale (pronounced roi-al), last Friday right after work at Jurong Point. Quite a full house since it was just the second day the movie had been released for screening. The show was 2hrs plus so as i had advised earlier in one of my post, to refrain from going to the loo during the show, avoid sweet stuffs.

Some of u may have read the synopsis of the show. It basically tells us how James Bond becomes.... James Bond. You can see that in his early days the famous agent was still rough around the edges, very rash in his actions and still sloppy in clearing his tracks.

Frankly, when i watched Casino Royale, i dun feel like im watching a James Bond movie. One of the elements that made James Bond enjoyable was missing. Gadgets! Not even 1! Even his car cannot do anything. It's like watching a normal action movie! Wah piang eh! The only thing enjoyable to watch was the fighting. Very rough. Unlike other James Bond movie.

My opinion of Daniel Craig as the new 007 agent? He's OK lah. To me, the person that plays James Bond doesn't need to be handsome. He does however needs to be charming. Like me. Hahah!

As a Bond movie, it's terribly disappointing. As an action movie, it's enjoyable. I just hope my 4th movie to watch at the cinema this year which is 'A Night At The Museum' would not be so disappointing.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

A colleague at work called me up yesterday to ask me how i was. Apparently she noticed sumthing amiss about me as these past few days i haven't been much interacting or striking up a conversation with her. i told her i was fine and still as handsome as ever. Haha! I consider myself lucky for having such a caring friend.

For those who know me personally, im just a nice guy lah. Never wanting to disappoint anybody and will always help out to my utmost capability. Someone who couldn't keep still and always like to disturb people. Haha! Probably the absence of my 'normal' self has prompted her to think that sumthing is wrong.

Well, perhaps my current work commitments has made me a little less than wat im really am. But the problem with this for people like me is that the slightest change in the behaviour is very much noticeable. Haiz.. During such times, some say i look fierce lah, moody lah... wateverlah. I guess they expect me to be 'gila' 24hrs! U tink im 7-11 is it?!

But sumtimes im confused. Being quiet and less sociable is wrong. Being sociable and nice is also wrong! Wah lau eh!! I guess some people see it as being too nice. But then im just being myself. How? A friend even once told me not to be too nice to her as it makes her feel awkward! ????

Well, that's just me. When im into doing sumthing, i tend to withdraw myself from the surrounding. Everyone has some kind of 'alter ego'. Some more noticeable than others. But i will always be me.

And as one of the Gun's & Roses song goes... "Sumtimes i need some time, on my own. Sumtimes i need some time, all alone..."

Health Is Wealth

Sumthing happened at work today. I was in a conversation with a colleague when she noticed another of our colleague (whose name was Wilson) walking around. This colleague of mine noticed that this Wilson looked slimmer than before. So we called him over to explain his secret.

Turns out he was taking some form of medicine to reduce his weight problem. It's some kind of bowel removal thinghy to remove the bad and excess oils from your body. As the conversation progresses, i noticed sumthing. This Wilson has many professions actually! I tot he was onli an engineer! Haha! Take a look at the conversation.


Wilson as a male MODEL

Colleague : Wah Wilson! U slim down ah!

Wilson : Hehe... (shows off his stomach)


Wilson as a DOCTOR

Colleague : What does this medicine do?

Wilson : This thing ah.... later after u eat, 6 hours later u will 'buang' everything including all the oils. Veri good one!


Wilson as a FINANCIAL ADVISOR

Colleague : Wah, 1 month must pay about $90 leh..

Wilson : Onli 90 lorler. Ur health more important u noe. Money can get..


Wilson as a NUTRITIONIST

Wilson : After u take this, i recommend u another medicine. This will balance out ur body. Our body need certain vitamins so this one can supplement those vitamins not enuff.


Haha! Wilson wilson...

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Last Saturday i went to Toys "R" Us to look at, what else, toys lah. Duh! I'm still young so i dun feel out of place. Perhaps some of you may not be aware of this but did you know last time Toys "R" Us does not allow children below a certain age to enter the shop without being accompanied by an adult? Serious lah. No joke! Quite silly actually. A toy shop selling toys which are meant for children but children cannot go. Well, now they've changed the rules and babies can now go there also. Haha!

Anyway, back to the toy store. Such a huge range of toys! Kids nowadays are spoilt for choice. Things that you've never imagined to be made into a toy is now available. From soft toys to ones which have electronics built inside. Impressive. Last time i onli played with plastic army men. Toys nowadays are meant to mimic things which a grown up would usually be associated with. This allows children to play make-belief and in a way, 'maturized' their thinking and creativity.

Doctor playset are quite common. U've got the stethoscope, thermometer, syringes and others lah. But then i saw sumthing. They now have uniforms! Wah piang eh! Children wearing doctor uniforms?! I thought superhero costumes were enough but this is kinda creepy. Though kids may think of it as harmless, adults would probably go into fantasy mode when they see one. Haha! Some of u all sure got fetish for people wearing a certain kinda of costume. Dun 'bedek' lah... U bunch of sickos!... Aiyoh... later got so many paedophiles how?! Haha!

Hmmm.......I wonder when the nurse and maid uniform will come out.... Hehe....

Hellooooooooooooooooo... nurse!

Mix And Match

A recent survey conducted by the 'Khairul Research and Observation Group' (heheh) revealed that more and more young gals nowadays are gettin..... Prettier. I wonder why. Especially the younger generations. Sometimes you can even predict that they are going to grow up to be beautiful just by lookin at them while they are still young. Of course there are some 'Ugly Duckling' cases.

Is it the food we eat? Might be. Although food is usually associated with obesity. Cosmetics? Perhaps. Now more and more cosmetic items are available in the market. And the information to use them correctly and maximize it's full potential can be found in fashion magazines, television shows as well as on the internet. I guess it does help. But the biggest factor for this to happen have to be the parents. Children will take on certain traits of the parents and when those traits/features mix and match it turns out to be better.

Just take a look at Desiree Ann Siahan. (Sorilah Desiree i use u as an example) Wah! So 'chio' leh! (dats why lor i chose u as an example) She is of Indonesian and Dutch parentage (actually got some more but too long to write lah. Haha!) Dun noe her? Nevermind (Desiree, please dun take it too hard they dun noe u. These people never watch TV one. Haha!) Mix to me are pretty. Some may not agree with me on this. However, I myself have never seen a mix who is not pretty. So for those who have seen an unpretty one, please show to me. They have a certain kind of unique beauty not found on others.

Not necessarily onli mix will turn out pretty. Those who are not mix are also known to be pretty. The fusion of people over many generations has resulted in good lookin children. A child make take a mothers' nose and fathers' eyes which happen to be the best feature of the parents and when u have both the features, the result would be good.

Anyway, beauty is only skin deep and in the eyes of the beholder. If u tink a girl is pretty, pretty lor. People have different views and understanding on beauty. And many overlook on true beauty. True beauty is natural. Not made up. And there is one way to see this. Yo guys take note! The best time to see how 'beautiful' ur girlfriend is is to look at them when they wake up in the morning. If they look as beautiful as they were with make-up, dats true beauty.

True beauty is when you are at your most natural. What better way than to take a look at them in the mornin. Unless they put on make-up to go to sleep!

******

A few days ago I received an email from a service which I subscribed some time ago. In order to access that information, I have to log in at their website. No lah. Not porn website lah. U have ah?! Share leh... dun stingy lah. Haha!! But wait! I can't even remember my username! Sian! It seems our lives are full of usernames and passwords. Blame technology security for that! Initially still controllable lah. But as u register with more online services such as web emails and forums, it gets out of hand.

Firstly the username. Sure, some of us use an identical username for our accounts. This email username: khairulcrazy. That email username oso khairulcrazy. The strategy in using identical usernames is useful in helping us not to forget. But hey! No all of them are applicable yer noe! Some require you to include numbers! And some require a certain amount of character! Wah lau eh! So if u've been using a particular username whose character quantity is not enough for a new registration, u have to think of a new name or include additional characters. And for some, that username has been taken! Say bye bye to ur standardized username.

The password. Aiyah.. No need to explain lah. The username itself can cause so much headache the password is there to turn ur headaches into a migraine.

Just imagine the number of usernames and passwords u have to remember for your office email, home email (u might have more than 1), forums, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, ICQs, Blogs, Community websites, Porn websites... Haha!

Now, that's onli the internet. How 'bout ur ATM cards? Wah piang eh! Seems like u have to reserve a certain amount of memory of ur brain just for usernames, passwords and PIN numbers. Even though there are ways to get back what u've forgotten, it's 'leceh' lah. Must dig here dig there, request this request that, send this send that, bla bla bla... Aiyoh...!

In an effort to provide security for us, we have to remember all these numbers and characters. Last time where got all this. What was important back then was ur signature or thumbprint even though there are still being used now in certain situations. Jst ask urselves, how many of these passwords and usernames have u forgotten. Sure got at least 1!

Eenie-meenie-minee-mo

A colleague at work once asked me this question a couple of years back...

If your wife is giving birth and the doctor said due to complications you have to choose either to save the mother's life or the baby, who would you choose?

Sounds like an ethical question to me. Depending on how u see it, such a decision can be both right and wrong. No matter what, either one (the mother or the baby) would never get to see each other. So how do u decide? Who should you choose? Is there such a thing as who more deserve to be alive than the other?

Any decision taken will be scrutinized, critiqued or supported by people. If u chose the mother to live, people would say why should the baby be denied the chance to live in this world? Others may refute back u can always have another baby. And if you chose the baby to live, people might say u have intentions of gettin another wife. Haiz...

We all have to make decisions in life. Some are easy and some are tough. And my 16 years of living (i'm still young lah. Realli!) has taught me one thing. You can never please or satisfy everybody. It's just impossible! And it's good enough if you can make 70 - 80 % happy. Everybody has differences. From thinking to opinion. Wats important is that u are happy with your decision and never look back, except to use it as a life lesson so that you won't make the same 'mistake'.

Everybody has their own reasons behind their decision. It could be based on upbringing, religion, racial or just 'feel right' thinking. Aniwae, back to the question. In case u're wondering on my decision, I chose the latter.

Lost In Space

I've heard so much hoo-haa about this Vivocity being the largest shopping centre in Singapore so decided to check it out myself lah. Wah! So big and packed leh! It's a shoppers heaven + HEADACHE!! Even though not all the shops are occupied, still it manages to attract thousands of shoppers as well as the kaypoh-kaypohs. Haha! It spans from Habour Front up to the 'causeway' that leads to Sentosa.

It's amazing wat used to be a quiet place (except for the occasional expos) has become a large shopping experience. Almost every shop that you can think off is available there. From sumthing for the young to sumthing for the old. Some more can go Batam if you want! Haha! The centre itself has it's own form of ideas to attract and promote the place. Got this guy as if controlling traffic holding signs indicating shop locations.

Just be prepared to get lost and lose your sense of direction there. Bring along a compass, maps, atlas and streetdirectory. Haha! Aniwae, if u need to get back on track, directions are written on the pillars of the building.

Condom Medium

I've seen so many condominium ads. Each of them is different of course. Everything looked so nice and professional. But most of the time they have one thing in common. At the swimming pool sure got some girl wearing bikini. Some looked local and some looked ang moh. it's kinda exaggerating lah.. Got meh gals at the swimming pool wearing bikini once the condominium is ready? Bedek lah.

Knowing that our community is 'preserved' and not so open, such a sight is so unlikely and can onli be seen at ang moh countries. Naked oso have. Haha! Are they trying to attract potential buyer's attention? Boy, would they be so disappointed. Hehe.. If such a thing is true, u think people living at the condominium wanna leave their house to go to work? I surely won't. Haha! I would buy telescope, periscope and all kind of scopes except stethoscope to see them up close. I sure become a volunteer lifeguard. Haha!

Declined

A colleugue at work once asked me,

Eh Khairul, do you have a credit card?

And i replied,

Poor man like me where got credit card. Debit card got lah!

She replied back,

Actually, a rich man owns a debit card.

Though i'm still thinking of wat she says, it's a fact that in order to have a credit card under your name, you have to earn quite considerably to be eligible. I've never really liked the idea of havin a credit card. Depending on how u see it, a credit card to me is taking a loan from a legal "Ah Long". It's not as if you're using your existing money to pay for what you spend on it even though you do pay it back at a later date. In a way, u owe money.

Credit cards do not pose a problem until it comes to a time where ur bills started to accumulate. I've read stories about people who owns multiple credit cards and runs into the trouble of being declared a bakrupt. Some even pay their credit card bills using other credit cards! Whoa! When will it end?

Many of us are aware of such things. And we will always say that we have good self-control and strong discipline not to overspend. No matter what the excuse is, the temptation to charge to the credit card is always there. C'mon! We are living in a materialistic world. Money IS important to our daily lives. (and it's never enough!)

For me, i only own a debit card. I can onli use when there's money in the account. No money, no honey. Haha! A debit card allows me to make transaction in other countries where the local bank is not available. I can even use it for transactions on the internet. Credit cards should be looked at like a FIRE EXTINGUISHER. Use only when necessary.

A debit card works just like a credit card. It has yearly fees. And it helps to control ur indulgence. Yes, i do agree it feels nice to own a credit card. It makes you feel important, distinctive and 'rich'. But at a price!

To me, even if i do own a credit card (i wonder when), it would only be one card. For Emergencies or Travelling only. Having more than one will make you grow horns, a set of wings and a tail. Haha! My advise to those who are not eligible yet to own one, try not to get even one. For those who have more, i dare you to cut all but one of your credit cards. Would you do it? DO IT, DO IT!! CUT IT CUT IT!!!! Haha!!

As the advertisement goes... 'You Only Need VISA.'

Tag. You're It!

For some of us who have a wide collection of MP3 songs, you've probably experienced the different forms of description being displayed on your MP3 player. Depending on the sources for your songs, you've probably noticed that some problems such as different spelling for the same artist ('e' supposed to be 'i') or album titles. For people like me who prefer to 'standardize' things, having such inconsistencies just dun make me feel good.

So now, for those who share the same liking as me, you can do sumthing about it. It involves editing the MP3 file. It's called ID3 tagging. What is ID3 tagging you might ask? Well, ID3 tagging means inputting information to your MP3 songs with details such as Artist , Album, Year, Track Number, Genre and Title. So from here, you can input all the necessary information that you want your files to be.

You can create your own album titles, set the type of songs (pop, rock, dangdut) or even correct wrong spellings. So the next time you play your songs on the MP3 player, the information of your choice will be displayed.

How to do this? Well, the software that you can use are MusicMatch Jukebox or iTunes. It's free to try and can be downloaded here. I explain how to do it on MusicMatch Jukebox (sorry lah hor iPod lovers)

First add the song to the library (File -> Add Songs To Library)

Right click on the song

Then go to Edit -> Edit Track Info

U're on ur own from here.

However, do not be confused with the filename of the songs. It has no relation. Changing the ID3 of the file will not change the filename or vice versa.

So now, beside enjoying listening to your songs, you can also enjoy LOOKIN at it! Haha!

You've Got Spam!

Practically almost everyday i receive spam. Be it at the office or home emails. Irritating leh. Make 'this' big lah, make 'that' longer lah, last longer lah, wateverlah..! Me? No need lah all that. Haha! Here's an example:

"Had doubts that these things really work? Check this out and join the thousands of happy men! You will have to learn to handle your thicker longer tool in just several weeks.

Women say size does not matter only not to upset you. In fact, it matters a lot! Try to imagine your totally new life free from size fears, lack of confidence and with terrific success among females."

Hahaha!!! Buey tahan leh!!

Have you ever wondered how you could get all these emails? Don't you wished it would stop? Well, the fact is, you can't stop it but u can minimize it. Most email clients (Yahoo, MSN, Lotus Notes, Outlook) enable you to block spam based on sites (e.g sex?@yespleaseatmyplace.com) or keywords (e.g viagra, harder bla bla bla). It's worth trying but it's neverending. So how do these spams work? Read on.

Somehow, you're email has been made 'public'. There are many instances how this could happen. It could be sent out by unscrupulous email providers or companies which require your email address when you register wif them (even though they may say they dun send out any information about you.) Then there's 'web spiders' or 'spambots'. These are programs which search into websites to look for email addresses and as you know, email addresses contains the '@' symbol. So it's not that difficult to find.

There's also those type of emails where you are required to send out to as many people as possible and at the same time asking for a copy (cc) returned back to the spammer. Do you noe that there are companies whose primary job is to send out emails to people? It's some kind of advertisement or promotion service gone wrong.

Even viruses cause spam! And you could be a spammer yourself!! Once such viruses are active in personal computers, they can search the computer for email addresses and send out emails in the background automatically without the knowledge of the user! Chia Lat leh! These computers are termed as 'zombie machines.' It's alive... ALIVE!!!!

Will there be an end? The answer is simply 'NO'. There's just too many possibilities and 'suspects'. The only way not to get spam is not to have an email address at all. And that's quite impossible nowadays. You can run but you can't hide.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

1. Can you cry under water?
2. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
3. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
4. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
5. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
6. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
7. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
8. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
10. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
11. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
12. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
13. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
14. What is North of the North Pole?
15. What do you call male ballerinas?
16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
17. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Unchained Melody

Ok. I've given a review of my favourite book recently. Now it's time to give a movie review of my favourite show. Different people like different kind of shows. There's comedy, romance, action, drama, thriller, horror and sci-fi/fantasy. I watch all kind of shows. Be it a 'Chick Flick' (movies gals would love) or a 'Dick Flick' (a term i made up to describe shows that men would love.. haha!). As long as the show does not put me to sleep, fine wif me.

I have a few personal favourite movies in the department of action, comedy and so on but there is only one romantic movie that i like up till now. Haha! Love story again! I sensitive person lah...

That movie would be 'Ghost'. No, it's not a horror show where u can find dead people climbing out of wells and out through the tv screen into your room. Nor can you see floating people in the lifts. Haha!! This movie was made in the year 1990. It stars Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg. Dunno them? Yalah.. you all onli know Hady Mirza and Jonathan Leong mah.. haha!

No need to explain you all how the story goes lah. Love story mah.. All the same. It's just how they convey it is the difference. A good show immerse u in the story. It makes you feel connected to the characters. It patronizes ur feelings. Scenes, script as well as the score (music) plays a part. It's not that easy to achieve this though. One way is to make the duration of the show long. But the downside of this is that it might make the show draggy. A right combination is needed.

For those interested to watch this show, u might be able to rent the video at popular DVD rental shops such as LaserFlair or VideoEZY. If you intend to purchase the show, you'll have to look for it at big shops such as HMV. Me? No need lah. Loved the show so much i even own it on DVD. Haha!

Go Visit Visit

Woa! I'm full after go visiting during hari raya. Always got sumthing to eat. This house eat this food. That house eat that food. Can go fat leh dis way! Haha! but then, I doubt so.. hehe (read here) Talking about hari raya, there is a kind of misconception that exist about this special day. Well, here i explain to u all ok. Listen carefully hor...

Hari Raya is not a Muslim New Year. It is actually a celebration to mark the end of fasting. And fasting is a religious obligation. A Muslim new year is somewhere in the month of January in 2007. 20th January to be exact. It does not always fall on the same date every year. Since the Muslim calendar is not 365 days compared to the Gregorian calendar which the world practice or follows, it shifts every year. In fact, there will be 2 Muslim new year in 2007.

In Singapore, the Muslim New Year is celebrated on a 'low-key' level. There is no public holiday designated for it here as compared to the Chinese New Year and the Muslims celebrate it at the mosque or at home with special prayers. The Muslim New Year is called 'Muharram.'

OK. Now that you all know what Hari Raya is, i can continue eating my 'ketupat'.

007

James Bond. It's amazing how this show is a favorite among many. And with the latest James Bond movie slated to open somewhere in November, it falls into the category of movies i wanna watch at the cinemas. And what makes this movie so successful? If i'm not wrong there are 21 James Bond movie up till now and counting. And each movie makes more money than the previous ones!

Basically, James Bond 'long life' is due the fact that it's a Man's fantasy. The concept is simple actually. Just put in the elements which a man loves and u've got a hit show. Gadgets, women and action are the main ingredients.

Gadgets: Who doesn't love them. Even some women do. From watches that can shoot out laser beams to cars that could turn into a submarine. It's a guys wettest dream! Haha! James Bond without gadgets is like going to another country without passport. Sure give problem one.

Women: My favourite. Hehe. Got sexy ones, brainy ones, naughty ones and even 'BIG' ones, James Bond all have. Good girls he get, bad girls he oso gets. Wah lau! James Bond u too much ah! Got use protection or not? Haha!

Action: Kaboom here, kaboom there. James Bond never die one. We men just love all those pyrotechnics and being in a tight spot situations. Espionage oso have. Where can i sign up to be a spy?

Hopefully the latest James Bond movie with Daniel Craig as the new agent 007 will be good. There has been some disgruntled James Bond fans criticizing on the decision by the producers on chosing Daniel Craig saying that how could James Bond be blonde. I just hope it will turn out well. Or it might just end up being his first and only outing as Bond.

The name's Ban. Jamban (Malay for toilet) Haha!

Free Smells

Hari Raya just round the corner, so must bake bake a bit lah. Already did chocolate chip cookies last year, so decided sumthing new this year. M&M's & Pecan Nut Cookie. Come, i show u...

Here are the ingredients needed.








We stir sugar, brown sugar, margerine and butter until it is well mixed and smooth.






We then add eggs and vanilla essence...








... followed by flour and baking powder.








Stir them till well mixed.








Once everything is mixed, we then add pecan nuts and...







M&M's!!!Woohooo!!!!









Stir them well.









Place the dough onto a greased baking tray and pop them into the oven.

Can find your favourite M&M's colour?



The finished cookie...
.. straight from the oven!

Memory Lane

Hari Raya is coming soon and usually at this time, i can't help but feel a little bit nostalgic. Dunno why leh. I suddenly thought about my Primary school teachers. Maybe i miss them. Maybe it's just sumthing that could never be forgotten. Of course there's far too many to remember but a few seems to special ones.

First, there was a teacher named Mrs Shaikah. She was like a motherly figure to me in school and remained my form teacher from Pri 1 up to Pri 3. She would look out for me and was always there when i needed someone.

Then there's Mrs Fizah. Wah! I tell u... she was the most 'chio' teacher in school man! Sexy some more! Always wearing that tight 'kebaya'! No wonder i couldn't wait to grow up!.. Hehe. For some apparent reason, she had a liking towards me. Hey! Can't blame me for being a cute boy! Haha!

And then there's Miss Allison Pereira. She was a relief teacher. Do u believe that i asked her out to see a movie? Well, we did! Never bluff u all one. My first date! Haha! We go watch cartoon at Cathay cinema. Romantic mah.... Did i get my first kiss? Haha!

Not forgetting Cikgu Saat. He was a language teacher. Very cool and patient man. Would joke with us at times. He was just a nice character lah...

So, to all the teacher's that I have mentioned, no matter where you are or what ur doing i hope you all are fine and happy with your lives. Who knows, our paths may cross again we just might meet again....

A Close Shave

A few days ago a colleague at work stopped me while i was getting back to my desk. She asked,

Eh Khairul. U all ah, during fasting month, too lazy or tired to shave is it?

So i asked her wat makes her think so. She replied,

Becoz i saw Alwi keep, u also keep.
So i had to straighten things out to her. Tell her the truth. Release her from the doubts in her mind. Keep her thoughts at rest.

I replied,

No lah... Actualli, i keep first. Then that Alwi saw me with beard and moustache look so good and handsome, so he decided to keep oso lor...

Haiz... It's tough being good looking... Bwahaha!!

I'm Lovin It!

Everyone has a favourite colour. Pink, yellow, red, brown, orange... For some cultures, colour has different meanings. But do you know that colors also have a psychological effect which some companies use to increase sales?

Take a close look at the logos or interior decoration of fast food companies. A majority of them has red or shades of red. Why? Red has been known to increase appetite. So when u go to McDonalds, even though u may not be that hungry, u eventually has this feeling of wanting to eat. Very clever indeed. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant. At the same time, red attracts attention. And u will not find a restaurant decorated in blue because blue when it comes to food is the least appetizing.

And why do the seats at fast-food restaurants uncomfortable? I mean, you won't get those plush cushions! They're comfortable but not really THAT comfortable! That's because they dun want customers staying too long in the dining area, which ultimately is a bad thing for the entire system, and one way to get people in and out is to be "modestly" uncomfortable in the comfort of the seating and other accommodations.

Rubber Duckie

Many of us, after a hard days work, look forward to a refreshing bath to rejuvenate ourselves and feel 'alive' again'. Some prefer to have a cold shower, some a hot bath while others who happened to have a bathtub at home, soak themselves to destress. But dun soak too long ah... later that 'thing' shrink & wrinkle then u noe! Later must iron. Owwww!! Haha!!

There are many ways to relax. For those who dun mind spending, there's always the spa. But go spa everytime can go bankrupt lah. Want a cheap way to relax that tired muscles all in the comfort of your own home? Then I'd recommend you try this method when you bathe.

Try alternating cold and hot water when you take a shower. 4 minutes of hot water followed by 1 minute of cold water. Repeat again process for the duration of your bath. I tell you, the feeling is shiok leh...!

This method is called 'Hydrotherapy' where u use water for various treatment such as relaxing of muscles, stimulate blood circulation and increase metabolism.

A 30-minute treatment of hot and cold compresses (four minutes hot, one minute cold) to the face, for example, can increase blood flow to the skin by 95%. Increased blood flow means the creation of collagen, more elasticity in the skin and less wrinkling. Wah! Can look young lah!

And if there any gals who are still unsure on how to bathe this method, feel free to call me and i'll help you to do it. Dun worry. No need to pay. Hehe...

Take Note!

I never really like to read. Pass me a novel and i'll probably used it to kill cockroaches. Haha! Especially books without pictures! Wah! Torture man!! How to read with no pictures? I just cannot imagine reading a book or novel as thick as 'Ya Kun Kaya Toast!' Never get migraine or headache meh?

I've heard of great authors namely Sydney Sheldon, Stephen King, Michael Crichton, JRR Tolkien and John Grisham but i've never read their books. Only watched it if it ever get to be made into a movie. Be it bestseller or not, a person like me needs some kind of strong convincing to read a book. And I'm not that easy to convince. Even insurance agents have failed. Haha!

But there is one book by a particular author which to my own personal opinion, is one of the best stories ever written. Ok lah! It's a love story! I'm sensitive you noe! Hahaha!! The book is called 'The Notebook' written by Nicholas Sparks. U can get it at Borders or Kinokuniya in paperbacks. I've got mine in Hardcover, when it was initially released. It's a story about eternal love. I'm not going to write more about the story so I'd recommend you'd read it. It was recently made into a movie, but.... best left forgotten lah...

Of course, with the success of 'The Notebook', Nick continued on with 'Message In A Bottle' (movie starring Kevin Costner), 'A Walk To Remember' (movie starring Mandy Moore, my girlfriend), and 'Nights In Rodanthe' to name a few. Between the movie and the book, the book is always the best. From print to screen, it has never been great. So read the book first. Then watch the movie. Me? I've read and seen all of them.

Thank god there's cartoons and comics......

Each Sold Separately. Batteries Not Included.

Barbie is more of a girl thing than a guy's. I mean, girls tend to play with dolls. It's a natural maternal instinct i guess. With Barbie you can play make-belief with her, dress her up, to almost anithing only limited by ur own imagination. I dun really quite fancy Barbie. Just a doll which used to have BIG boobs! (until recently they had to downsize 'IT') Haha!

When I first found out that they have made television shows from the character Barbie, i was quite amazed. Wah! This gal is going places. (or probably the maker is trying to find ways to boost sales). The VCDs and DVDs version can be found at almost all good DVD shops. Pirated oso have. So i tot, perhaps the shows would be so-so lah. Nothing great. Just ur normal, ordinary cartoons for kids.

Boy, was i wronged! I was hooked man! Haha!! Serious! The show not bad leh. In particular would be 'Barbie as Rapunzel'. The others i'm not so sure lah.. haven't watch yet. The cartoon is computer generated. Beautifully rendered. Storyline they changed it a bit of course. The music (soundtrack) was good. Overall the show was impressive. Very touching leh... feel like crying.... Haha!!!

Perhaps some of you may have heard that Barbie is dumping (separate, break-up, divorced,...watever!) Ken after a 'relationship' of 43 years for another guy. If i were Ken, i dumped Barbie the day she had her boobs reduced!! Haha!!

Aniwae, here's a joke on Barbie's separation...


A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager..

"How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied,

"Which one?
We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95 ....
'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ....
'Barbie goes shopping' for $19.95 ....
'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95 ....
'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ...
and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00".

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised.

"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

P is for Peanut

OK. Today 'Kor Kor' will show u how to bake Peanut Cookies. See properly ah...

Firstly, we roast the peanuts...







We then blend flour, icing sugar, corn flour, baking powder and salt. When the mixture has mixed well, we then add vanilla essence.








Peanut oil is then added into the mixture.






Dun forget the secret ingredient! Hehe...













Mix them well until it forms into a smooth dough.



Roll the dough to form a small ball. Make sure the baking plate is greased well or else the cookie will stick to it just like gals like to stick wif me. Haha!!



Place half a peanut on top of the dough...








Top it off with an egg wash to give that golden look and bake for about 15 minutes.






The finished Peanut Cookie.

The only thing left is a taste test.
Any volunteers?

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Wah Piang Eh!! It seems that the blanket of smoke we call haze is gettin from bad to worse. Everywhere i look makes me feel like i'm in Genting or some high altitude country. However, the view and smell of the air reminds me of my national service days...

I was serving national service when the haze has started to become a real environmental issue. We were so used to 2 seasons (rainy & sunny) that we now have a new season to go through. But haze during that time was like a savior to us. It's funny that sumthing which is considered as 'bad' or disadvantage is an advantage to some, depending on the situation. U see, whenever the PSI level hits a certain unhealthy range, we would not have any rigorous outdoor training. Hehe... So can relax a bit lah..

Aniwae, here's an advice in going through this special 'season'. (u all like to listen to advice given by a crazy person hor?!) Stay indoors and drinks lots of water. Especially when you have the young around. Try to restrict on outdoor activities. Better not get sick during this time unless u like to see thick yellowish phlegm on ur bathroom sink. Haha! And recovering won't be quick either becoz the weather is the most important factor and we do not know when this 'season' will end.

So take care ya!

Men!

Men Can't be Trusted! Men are all the Same!

I've heard this sentence from many people (women of course lah) be it in real life or reel life (dramas, etc..). Now, how true is this? I dun usually like to write about such issues on my blog but i believe women would like to know what a man says from his own perspective.

If i were to say that it is not true, women would think i'm siding with my own kind. On the other hand if i say that it is true, aren't i condemming my own kind? Haiyoh.. So 'leceh' lar... The actual answer is that, there is no answer. It depends on how u see it. And there are many kinds of trust. Relationship? Money? Safety? For this post, we'll stick with relationship lah hor.

This stigma of 'Men Can't be Trusted' usually appears after a personal experience. U noe lah... Girl meets Boy. Girl Falls for Boy. Girl 'kena' Play Out by Boy. Girl Heartbroken. Bla bla bla... As a result from such experience, these gals just dun trust guys. Well just becoz a guy 'plays' u out doesn't mean all guys would do the same!

OK. Let's be frank. Guys will always be guys. They have individual weaknesses. They do look at girls. Some admire them. Some go further than that. We are all HUMANS! Duh! As you can see, i've used the word 'individual' and 'some'. Which means not necessarily 'all'.

For those who still believe that men can't be trusted, let me ask u this question. 'Do u trust ur Dad?' Parents offer the best examples to their children. U dun have to tell me ur answer. There's no right or wrong. It's ur life. U have to make ur own judgment.

And for those who keep asking 'Where are all the good men?"

Well.......



they're all MARRIED! Haha!!

Are You Kidding?

When was the last time any of u all had a kiddy ride? If it was last week, did u ask ur mommy permission to read my blog? Dun worry. Uncle's blog rated PG. Can read one, just like watching cartoons... Haha!

Kiddy rides has long entertained children. Actually that 'thing' just rock forward and backward to a familiar tune repeatedly which goes sumthing like 'Man Jani Por Por, Man Jani Por Por. Heeyyyyy Ho Hey Ho Heeyyyy.' Sorry lah if i wrote it wrongly. Well, if u ask me, it's just cheap thrill. But kids, being kids, will enjoy the simplest form of entertainment.

Kiddy rides have evolved over the years into something more sophisticated and attractive. Gone were the days when kiddy rides takes the form of a duck or Ultraman even though u might still see some of them at ur neighbourhood shops. Technological advancements are being introduced into some of the kiddy rides nowadays such as LCD screens, creative designs and interactive gameplay.

And with such introductions means kiddy rides cost higher than their predecessors. From 20 cents per ride, theses days they cost at least 100% more. ($2 lah) Doesn't seem like a 'cheap' thrill to me. Haha!

It seems manufacturers of kiddy rides are serious in creating more bucks out of their machines and the business in doing so doesn't seem like child's play to me. Don't u agree?