Appealing for Witnesses

Hi all,

On Tuesday afternoon 30th January 2007, someone stole my wheels during my 12:00pm to 1.00pm lunch break and I am appealing for witnesses.

It is really hard for me to get around now and I have to walk everywhere. If anyone saw anything, please let me know. I am even prepared to offer a reasonable reward.

It's not so much the fact they're gone because they can be replaced - I just don't want to see the scum who did this get away with such a low act.


PS : Attached is a photo taken where the robbery took place. Any leads you provide is greatly appreciated.

Bloody Idiot

I just don't understand humans. Why? Becoz they can be so idiotic. Today, i'm gonna write one of humans stupidity.

U've probably come across items such as waterproof, shockproof, scratchproof and many other kinds of proof. Now, there are people out there knowing that a certain item can withstand a certain condition, love to test it out to see if it could really meet what the makers claim.

NB!! For what??!! Are u all dumb or just plain stupid? Is there something wrong with your brain?

I once knew an idiot who had a shockproof handphone. And he would just throw the phone everywhere, onto the floor or from a high level. As a result his handphone would be in such a bad cosmetic apperance that the apek at Sungei Road oso dun want to buy or try selling.

Now, why do i call such a person as idiots? Here's a scenario:

Someone just bought a new car. A Volvo. Now, knowing that the Volvo is one of the safest car in the world, the person would purposely go and crash it to see if it is really safe.

Wouldn't u call such person who would do such a thing as IDIOTS?

My fellow idiots. Things that have been 'proofed' are meant just in case sumthing bad really happens. It's like a safety net. It's not for you to test it out.

Two Kosong

Roti prata. What was once considered as a breakfast food is now available round the clock. People now eat it during lunch, dinner and even supper.

Usually people eat it with curry. Children usually eat it with sugar. Today, 'Kor-kor' show u how it is eaten the 'Kor-kor's way..

Mmmm.... freshly baked prata. Crispy on the outside. Tender on the inside.

First, the curry. U spread it over the prata. Ahhh... the smell so shiok.

Secondly, you sprinkle sugar over it. Let it dissolve into the curry. Yummy....

Cut it up into bite size pieces and u're ready to go.

Gone in 300 seconds... Burp..!

Ok ok. Some of you might think it's a sick way of eatin it. I do get a few stares now and then from other customers when i eat it this way but hey.... it's my way of eating it!

In case you don't know, there are poeple who eat it with condensed milk! Now that's fear factor!

Give it a try. U might like it..

Age Is Just A Number

My parents are make a little bit of noise over my younger bro's choice of girlfriend. They cannot accept the fact yet that she is 4 years older than him. I guess 4 years is too much for them to accept. They even asked me to advise my bro on gettin a younger girl. (can u imagine asking a crazy person to advise? haha!)

Well... it's sumthing that i cannot do. Why? Becoz to me, i see nothing wrong with it.

Everybody has preference. Everybody is different. Some men like older women. Some men prefer younger women. Perhaps it's the way these 'Jie-jie' think or carry themselves compared to the 'Mei-mei'. It could also be the maturity (although not necessarily true) that these men like.

Generally, men who like older women are guys who like 'to be sayang' one. They like to be pampered and given attention to. Just like baby lah. As opposed 'to be sayang', some men like 'to sayang' instead. These type of men got plenty one. No need to worry lah girls.

To accept an older woman is purely individual liking and opinion. As i have mentioned in my earlier post, a person's decision can be based on religion, social circle or own judgment.

Men marrying older women are less common and so , falls in the category of 'out of the norm.' I guess doing things which normally people dun usually do will receive some kind of objection.

As for my bro, i could only wish for the best for him. It's his choice and every choice has a certain kind of risk to it.

The Birthday Present

Some of my friends know that i have a lot of jokes in hand but they are mostly in Malay. They even asked me to translate it to English. Not easy leh actually. Some jokes sounds funnier in a certain languange. However, not wanting to dissapoint them, i translate one for you all to read. I hope you enjoy it.


Ah Boy wants to buy a birthday present for his new girlfriend, Ah Girl. So he asked his niece to accompany him to go shopping at Tangs.

As Ah Boy and Ah Girl has only been together for just a month, Ah Boy decided to buy a black hat made of cloth so as to not to look too serious.

His niece however bought a lacy flowery black underwear because Tangs was having a sale that day. While paying, the cashier made a mistake by exchanging the box for the black hat with his niece black lacy underwear!

After paying, Ah Boy then went to the gift-wrapping section to get it wrapped without checking it's contents first. He then returned home and wrote a letter for Ah Girl and posted the present with the wrong contents...

The letter sounds like this (please mind his English lah hor):


For my beloved Ah Girl,

I buy this present because you never wear when we go 'pak tor' and you always complain very hot. If not for my niece, i want to buy more transparent one so that if u sweat, it will not be so damp. But my niece wear the one with the flower very nice leh.

I chose black color so that it will not look dirty. The salesgirl showed me hers and 1 week never wash. Looks Ok leh. I asked the salesgirl to try it on because her size same as you.

Wah! Very nice leh. I hope you like this present because i think it fits you well. Cannot wait leh to see you wear in front of me. I hope you will wear it when we go out this weekend.

Love always,
Ah Boy
xxxoooxxxoo


P.S : When u want to wear it, i saw the latest style is to fold the front and let a little bit of hair to come out.

D is for Dictionary

One day, i kaypo2 lah go to my friend's desk. She's a very busy woman i tell u! Always got things to do one. I oso dunnoe what. Haha!

Anyway, I noticed she has a dictionary at her place. Wah! I said to myself. Tis friend of mine must be very intellectual leh. U can see that it's been used quite often judging by the condition of it's covers.

So, i picked up the dictionary lah to see it's content. I tot of trying to get the meaning of the word Wednesday. So i flip flip flip to the W section. I scan scan scan... wedge, wedlock, wee... ehh??!!

.... Alamak! How come got no word wednesday sia!!? Wah lau eh! Wat kind of dictionary is this? Simple word oso dun have.

I asked her lor why her dictionary dun even have the word Wednesday. Wah! Her reply i tell u... Cannot carry leh... She said this dictionary for intelligent people. No need so many words.

Ohhh pleaseee..... almost vomitted leh with the excuse... Hahaha!

To me, it looks like a dictionary for people who just started to learn English leh. A person who is studying a languange cannot give too many words mah. Later can become Gong-Gong. Bwahaha!!

Snail

This post goes out to all the snails that i have stepped on.

I'm really really really sorry for stepping on u guys.

It is purely unintentional and i feel very bad whenever i step on one. The sight of a broken shell really breaks my heart.

Please accept my sincerest apology.

Halo... Who Paged?

I was going through my cupboard to clear out some old stuffs when i found sumthing which was once popular... The PAGER!

It's amazing how technology has progressed over the years leaving this gadget obselete.

In the 90's, pagers were Hot man! So many brands and models. Besides the big providers such as SingTel, there's also Sunpage and Hutchison Paging.

However, pagers are quite limited in it's usage, unlike handphones. I mean, their job is to 'page' onli mah. Cannot even SMS leh. But those who 'pak tor' got special codes to send 'messages' to their boyfriend/girlfriend one. They do this by inputting a series of numbers once they have paged the other party. They are:

17-31707-1 = I-LOVE-U (must turn pager upside down to read)

2-17-31707 = LOVE-U-2 (oso must turn upside down)

1-177155-4 = I-MISS-U

177155-4-2 = MISS-U-2

Cute? Yeah lah yeah lah, watever...

Handie-talkie

Ok. Here's sumthing which i do not understand.

Many of us use handphones. And normally we would place the handphones at the side of our face when we speak. But how come got people speak as if they're using the walkie-talkie??!!

U noe... place the handphone at the ear to hear and bring the mouthpiece to the mouth when they speak.. and keep doing it until the conversation ends.

Wah lau eh!!! For what!!?? Even a crazy person like me oso dun do that way! U all using walkie-talkie is it? Ur phone cannot talk and listen at the same time?

Actually those who do this way waste money u noe. Becoz walkie-talkies are cheaper that handphones. That money give me better.

And which brand of handphone are u all using? I better not buy! And do u all do the same way for the normal corded phone at home? Bwahahaha!! Seow!!

Possible reason i found out: Noisy

Noisy? Usually if it's too noisy, i would cup my hand at my mouth so as to filter away the noise. So this excuse/reason/explanation illogical leh.

Is this a new handphone trend.... or a brand new stupid way of talking on the phone?

On Garmen Service

My friends think whenever i go for my reservist i very the 'senang' one. They say i sleep only. Well, on behalf of all those who have to go for reservist, i have this to say:

KNN! U all tink very 'senang' is it? Ur head ah! Still got to do work mah. Where got 'kena' called and do nothing. Seow! U tink i waste garmen money is it!!? Tamade!

Come, let me all show u wat is it like having to go for reservist. Exclusively for u all one.

For my reservist this time round, i'm attached to the audio visual unit. We only make corporate videos. U won't get to see on TV one. Basically in any video production or shoot, there are 3 stages. The pre-production, the production itself and the post-production.

Here is one of the rooms.

Inside the recording studio. Here's where you can see Lights, Camera and Action.

I shoot with these. Heavy like hell. The same type which TCS use one.

No, that is not a dog. It's what we call a boom microphone.

As u can see, need to do adjustment one. Complicated hor.

This camera has been equipped with what is called a 'Tele-Prompter'. Newscasters used this making us feel as if they are directly looking at us. Actualli they are reading words on the camera which we cannot see.

The editing suite. Here, videos and music are cut and pasted together so that it will turn out into a 'viewable' show.

The keyboard. Not ur average computer keyboard. Got colour one.

One of the controls at the editing suite. No use explaining how it works. U all sure dun understand one.

Wires and connections. U poke wrong can explode ah.

The sound recording room. (duh!)

U can basically do sound recording here. (duh duh!)

No need to win Singapore Idol to make an album.

More wires to poke poke.

SO u see. U all tink nothing to do rite? Knock ur head then u noe!

You My Friend

Most of us have best friends or good buddies, wadever u call it. Perhaps having sumthing in common or thinking in the same 'frequency' makes you all close. Most of the time, our best friend is someone who is of the same sex as us.

But, can a guy and a gal be best friends and not fall in love with each other? They call this type of relationship... 'platonic'. Which means there is no desire for one another.

Possible? I find it hard to be able to achieve. Surely either the guy or the gal will fall for one another. I mean, when it comes to relationship with the opposite sex, there' sparks that bound to fly even though it may be just one sided.

If it were me, i dun tink i could have a close relationship with the opposite sex. I sure fall in love one. Why? Becoz i easily fall in love one. Haha!!

Some may not agree wif me on this. They probably has gone through it and knows the other party does not have any feelings. But how do u noe? Did u ever asked the other party? The other party may say 'no' but how do u noe he or she is telling the truth? He or she could be hiding his or her feelings.

I'm sure either the gal or the guy will have at least some kind of feeling towards the other. But, most dun dare to confess. Why? Becoz of rejection. Rejection will make the other party feel uneasy with the other party once the love is confessed. As a result, the friendship is compromised.

It is perhaps this fear of rejection and the risk of losing a friend that keeps people from confessing their feelings with the other party. Thus making us think it is possible to have a 'no-love' relationship.

Most, no matter how heart-breaking it may be, treasure friendship.

Crazy

Many of my friends think i'm crazy. In fact, i believe all of my friends think i'm crazy. I just want to say sumthing:

STOP IT OK! I'M FED-UP AND SICK OF ALL THESE NAMES CALLING! IT'S GETTING VERY IRRITATING! SHUT THE 'F' UP!!!!


Haha! Got u there. U all tink im angry ah? I'm not angry or mad with such comments. In fact i'm actually quite proud of it. Where else can you find a crazy person and still not admitted to a mental hospital? Hahaha!!

I guess it's they way i think or behave that makes them think i'm crazy. But i think some of u all may have the wrong concept or understanding for crazy.


Are u saying that i am doing things out of the ordinary? Well, that's called UNORTHODOX.

Are you saying that nobody else you knew is like me? Well, that's called UNIQUE.

Are you saying that i think of new things not thought of others yet? Well, that's called CREATIVITY.


Ok. Now u have a few more words to use to describe me. Use wisely hor..

Don't let me be the Last to Know

A colleague at work recently resigned last month. And i didn't know about it until it was her last day. Am i being ignorant about wats happening around me? Have i become a 'mountain tortoise'?

I'm not the kind who would sit around in groups unless you want to hear my dirty jokes. Haha! I'm also not the type who would revel in office politics or lunch gossips. I guess dats why i may not be updated with the things around me.

However, this lack of not knowing or getting involved in rumours and gossips have turn me into sumthing which people are always in need of nowadays. A Confidant. Somebody who would hear wat u say and not spread it around coz the possibility of leakin it is minimal. In fact, i've become a confidant for many of my colleagues.

As a result i know so many secrets! I know who this gal is going out with... who picks her up... personal problems... management...... I just pretend not to know.

I guess there's good and bad about being a mountain tortoise. But there is one thing that such a attitude can earn....

Trust.

Tom, Dick and Hairy

I was having a conversation with my 'talk-anithing-under-the-sun' kakis at work. One of them complained she was having split ends. And so i learnt a few things about hair such as 'straightening', 'rebonding' and 'extensions'.

Well one thing lead to another and soon we were discussing on the reasons and purpose of hair. Firstly, armpit hair. I mean, why is it there in the first place? At least there are scientific and acceptable reasons for ear and nose hair but, armpit hair?

One of them came up with a theory that armpit hair is to absorb sweat and prevent it from smelling. Possible. But dun u tink that having no hair there will help the sweat at the armpits to evaporate faster thus reducing on the BO?

From armpit hair we moved on down to pubic hair. Why is it there man!? Itchy u noe! Haha. Is it there to act as a 'shock' absorber when u.... 'ahem'? And why, why, why... must it be curly!?? Doesn't matter u from wat race, sure curl one! Natural curl some more. Dunno why. Cannot straight meh? One of us has a theory that probably we wear underwear and the pressure makes it curl.

Hmmm.... Must find somebody leh who never wear underwear. Straight maybe? Haha!

There are so many reasons on the existence of hair on our body. Different people have different opinion about them. Watever it is, here are a few facts about hair:

1. Hair is actually dead material when it leaves it's root - otherwise it would hurt very much when you cut it.


2. Female hair grows more slowly than male hair


3. Male hair is more dense than female hair


4. Frequent washing does not increase loss of hair


5. Spliced ends cannot be repaired and need to be cut


6. Pigments give the hair its color. When we age, hair receives fewer pigments and turns gray or white.


7. It is normal to lose 100 hairs per day from the scalp.


8. You must lose over 50% of your scalp hairs before it is apparent to anyone.


9. Asian hair grows the fastest and has the greatest elasticity.

Blog Club

Hmmm... it seems more and more of my friends, be it young or old, have started to blog. I've known mothers of 2 even started blogging. Dats good. Keep it up! Blogging is not bad. It helps u keep up with ur writing skills and at the same time keep up with the ever growing change in technology trend.

Blogging helps to close up the generation gap between father/mother with their child or other family members. It has become a family activity, once limited onli at the dining table. Sharing sumthing in common with ur child or siblings helps. And it would also help the child's self-esteem. Which would you rather hear?

Hey, my dad blogs

or

Hey, my dad is with his kopi kakis at the the coffee shop.

There are some however who may not agree with dis blogging thingy. A friend of mine even said bloggers are dumb. Well, dats every individual right in opinion. Just dun let me catch u blogging coz i hate hypocrites. Did u noe that a recent teacher's convention teachers are encourage to blog as it helps them get in touch with their students? Even politicians blog! Dun tell me they are all dumb?

Of course anithing good when misused can turn bad. Blogs are no exception. Try to keep things at a minimal. Dun mention names of parties involved. Race, religion and politics are definitely OUT!

For those who haven't started, give it a try. U might just like it...

Scissors

Got this from a friend (the mother of one who 'bedek' onli to be innocent). Tot of sharing it here...

Apparently there's this mother who has a child in the kindergarten and the children were told to draw a pair of scissors. See wat it comes out lookin instead...





hehe...

School Bus

Got this from a friend thru an email...

Pre-school children were asked the following question:

In which direction is the bus pictured below traveling?

Look carefully at the picture.

Do you know the answer? The only possible answers are "left" or "right."

Think about it. Still don't know? Okay, I'll tell you.

The pre-schoolers all answered "right"

When asked:

Why do you think the bus is traveling in the right direction?

They answered:

Because you can't see the door.

Free 'n Easy

FREE.

This word is the most overused, misused and underated word when it comes to work. How come people always say...

Eh, free ah?

And that to be 'free' is.... WRONG!? Wa lau eh! Ur telling me u cannot be free at work? R u mad?

And wat does busy realli means? If u say that you are busy but still can afford to have small talk, go for a tea break or check ur mail at Yahoo or MSN at work that ur one BIG fat liar. Some can even say...

Wah... so free... Can keep two blogs some more....(fyi, i've decided to close one of my blogs. Haiz.... the things i do for my fans...).

Busy to me means you dun have time to do the things i have just mentioned.

And there are those who cannot see u free one. Dunno why. It's like they are not happy that you are not as busy as them. How come people never consider other issues or view it at a different angle? I'm free but ur busy. I earn less but u earn more. Wanna complain? In that case why not i work in your position and level and u dun work. Want? If not, just shut the F***' Up!

Life, my dear friends, is a balance no matter how much u may disagree with me. Things that are of my disadvantage may be of your advantage. U just don't see it because u refuse to see it or acknowledge it. We often compare ourselves to those who are better off than us but never compare with those who are less fortunate. The secret to contentment is to practise the latter.

Some people have a car, a big house or a maid. Why compare with them when you dun have one? They may yearn for a child which u have or suffering from some life threatening health problems which you dun have. Did u ever consider that factor? Comparison should be used only as a form of encouragement for us to strive for what others might have. But remember! As i said earlier. Life is a balance.

My younger bro once said to the family...

I may be the shortest in the family but I have the best body among all.

Good for him i say. I totally agree. At least he realises his strengths and not just his weakness. And so, i also gave a comparison to him...

I may be the one with the most pimples in the family but i'm the most handsome.

Bwahahaha!! Case closed.

X-ray Vision

Every year my company would sent all its staffs for a yearly medical checkup. U noe lah hor.. The usual... Take blood lah... take urine sample lah... take sperm sample lah... heheh, just kidding.

Then u have to go for an ECG (the thing where they paste u with so many wires to see how ur heart is) and an x-ray. At the end of the day, u'll get a report of ur health condition and a film of an x-ray of ur chest.

Now, wat the hell am i supposed to do with my chest x-ray!!?? Give me for wat? Can see only bones!! So damn big some more! Send to photo shop to develope? Go Ikea and buy a frame to hang on the wall? Crazy leh! I've got 5 of them! All the same! What da fish!

If there's sumthing wrong, OK fine. U can use it perhaps for reference or referral. But if ur OK there's nothing much else to do rite?! I think people nowadays need to go and have an x-ray of their brain instead to make sure things are OK up there.

Bwahahaha!!

Never Say Goodbye

You've probably heard of the saying,

Such a small world.

Such a saying arises when people bump into someone they once knew where distance should have been limiting a chance of such a thing from happening. Be it in the same country or overseas.

I often bump into my national service friend every now and then. In a year i think got at least 5 times! At shopping center lah.. coffee shop lah... toilet lah... It's amazing such a thing could have happened as we were not in contact anymore after our NS.

On the other hand i have a school friend who used to live 3 levels above my unit. U might think we often bump into each other quite often. Well, it doesn't happen that way. In fact, we never meet at our block at all! We usually meet at friends wedding or gatherings away from our living area.

Live far always meet. Live near never meet. Funny leh...

There's always a possibility of bumping into someone we have separated with. Chances are slim but not impossible. Of course we don't usually bump into everybody we once knew.

Mostly, unfortunately, we never meet at all ever since the last goodbye.

Let's Talk About Sex Baby

SEX.

Sumthing which many of us shy away from asking or discussing openly. Perhaps it's our upbringing. Our conservative nature. Our values. Sex should be discussed openly. It helps to prevent misconception and misunderstanding.

Let me ask u all a question. How did u all FIRST find out that the act of sex involves inserting a male private part (also known as penis, cock, dick) into a female private part (this is called a vagina, pussy)? Books? Biology class? Watching porn? Hearsay? My blog? Many people find out the method differently.

But think about it. Do u think u know how it is done if u've not been told or knew about it? Would you have thought of the method? Some people say we will know it naturally and by instinct. How? By dreams? Perhaps. That could at least give u an idea to start with. But wat if u dun even dream about it at all.....? Later put in wrong 'hole' how? Haha!!

I'm the kind of person who can talk about anything under the sun. Perhaps due to this some of my friends say i Pervert lah, Sex maniac lah, Dirty minded lah.... Yeah yeah... wadever... They probably got the idea when they have a conversation with me coz every word which comes out of my mouth seems to refer to sex. I dunno who is more pervert. The person who tink it that way or just me. In fact, i wasn't referring to sex in the first place. Looks like u people have better sexual imagination than me leh... Haha! U bunch of perverts!

Sex also brings out the nature of people. Some innocent. Some act innocent. Heck! I even knew a mother of one who says she dun know about all these things! Yeah rite! 'Bedek' onli. Who u trying to fool? Got child orledi still dun noe about all these things. Dunno i can teach you. I'm a qualified Sex Instructor. First lesson Free!! Hurry! Before offer never ends! Hahaha!

Trying to lie to liar. Trying to cheat a cheater. Hahaha! Of course there are those who realli innocent one. But at least they do know how the act is being done...

Sex also makes the best jokes. Why? Becoz everybody can relate to them. Doesn't matter ur from which country. It's a common international topic.