Office Politics 101

This post is dedicated to all who are still skooling and so itchy to get into working life. U all think working life fun is it? Ur head ah! Of course u get to have your own money but if u ask me, i'd rather be skooling and still get to enjoy Youth Day and Children's Day.

Anyway, working life is not the same as skooling life. Some of you may have to go through some kind of office politics at ur work place.

So to get u all prepared, i explain some of the popular terms.

Carry Balls
This term is used to be in somebody's good books. Usually people do this to their bosses so that their bosses would be good to them. In some cases, it even helps you to get promoted quickly and easily. I dunno where they come up wif this term. Carry balls in this situation is like carrying the testicles of your bosses lah. Got left one and got right one. Testicles heavy meh to carry? Ok leh wif me. Maybe bosses got heavy balls lah so that one i dun noe hor. But this term is more suitable for male bosses. If female bosses how? Females no balls leh. Carry breast? I tot bras are already doing a good job? Haha!!

Cover Backside (Ass)
Ok. This term is used when u want to avoid gettin blamed for problems that have arise, going to arise or may arise. Work sure got problems one mah. It's like trying to get concrete evidence to fight in court. If you can prove ur innocence, such as doing the required duties in doing your work, then nobody can get to you. It's like a protective shield. An amour. However, if you cannot prove ur innocence, u will face the term below. They are somehow inter-related.

Kena Fuck
This term is used when you are scolded or blamed for doing things wrong. No. Ur bosses won't ask you to stand on your chair in front of the whole office nor will he beat ur palm wif a ruler. Worst scenario is u get fired. But usually it doesn't happen to that extend lah. But ur bosses will remember it for the rest of their lives. Haha! Where kena fucked? Well, with reference to the term 'Cover Backside', backside lor. I guess it's not a good feeling to be fucked from the back. So make sure u put enuff KY!

Kena Arrow
This is when u are picked to do a certain job or task. Usually such tasks are not within your job scope. These are the extras-extras at work. The nitty-gritty. Examples could be making sure the room is clean, maintaining the photocopy paper or even making sure people flush the toilet after they have done their 'business'. But still, somebody's got to do them. So if u're unlucky, u're the one who's going to have to do it.


Well. that's it then. Those are just some of the terms used in working life. I'm not trying to scare u all but then....

.... reality bites.